Questions to Ask a Psychic or Medium, and What Not to Ask

The best questions to ask a psychic are open ones that begin with what, how or why, keep the focus on you, and leave room for guidance. "What is holding me back at work?" gives you far more than "Will I get promoted?" Know, too, which questions an ethical reader will decline: diagnoses, court outcomes and lottery numbers.

I'm Michelle Virtue, and I've put together this list so you can go into a reading feeling prepared and confident. Below you'll find questions grouped by theme, a section on what to ask a medium, the topics to steer clear of, and how to phrase things and use what you hear afterwards. For the practical side of getting ready on the day, my guide on preparing for your psychic reading covers the rest.

What makes a good question for a psychic

A good question gives the reading somewhere to go. Before you write your list, it helps to keep a few principles in mind.

• Make it about you. You can only change your own choices. "How can I improve things with my sister?" is more useful than "What does my sister think of me?"
• Ask for understanding, not a verdict. Readings offer perspective. They don't hand down fixed outcomes.
• Keep it to one subject at a time. Two or three focused questions are better than ten scattered ones.
• Be honest about what's really on your mind. If a relationship is the reason you booked, say so, even if you start with career.

You don't need to give the reader your whole story. A light outline is enough, and some people prefer to say nothing at first and see what comes through.

Questions to ask a psychic about career and business

A lot of my clients are founders, business owners and women making big professional decisions. These questions tend to open useful conversations.

• What do I most need to understand about my current direction at work?
• What strengths am I underusing?
• Where am I spending energy that isn't serving me?
• What is the main block between me and the next stage of my business?
• How can I make this decision from confidence rather than fear?
• What should I pay attention to over the next few months?
• Is there a pattern in how I handle money or success that I need to look at?

Treat the answers as insight to weigh alongside your own knowledge, figures and professional advice. A reading can sharpen your sense of what you want, but a contract, a hire or an investment still needs proper due diligence.

Relationship and love questions

Love is the subject people bring most often, and it's where wording matters most. Questions about another person's private thoughts, or whether they'll come back, tend to keep you waiting. Questions about your own patterns and needs tend to move you forward. If you've been wondering whether someone is a soulmate or a twin flame, my guide to soulmates, twin flames and karmic relationships is worth reading first.

• What is this relationship showing me about myself at the moment?
• What pattern keeps repeating in my relationships, and where does it come from?
• What do I need to feel loved and secure?
• How can I communicate more honestly with my partner?
• What would help me move on from this ending?
• What am I ready for in love, and what am I not ready for yet?

Life direction and spiritual growth questions

Sometimes there isn't one clear issue, just a feeling of being stuck or at a crossroads. These questions work well when you want a broader view.

Life direction

• What chapter of life am I in, and what is it asking of me?
• What do I need to let go of to move forward?
• Where am I being too hard on myself?
• What would bring more meaning into my everyday life?

Spiritual growth

• How can I strengthen my own intuition?
• What is the best next step in my spiritual development?
• Do I have guides around me, and how might I connect with them?
• What practice would help me stay grounded?

What to ask a medium

A mediumship reading is different, because the medium is working with people in Spirit rather than reading your energy alone. It's best to go in with a soft focus rather than a fixed list, since no one can guarantee who will come through. Even so, it can help to hold a few questions in mind in case there's space for them.

• Is there anything they would like me to know?
• Are they at peace?
• Is there anything they would want me to do, or stop worrying about?
• Can they show me something that would help me recognise them?

Try not to supply names, dates or details at the start. Let the medium give the evidence first, then confirm with a simple yes or no. If you're thinking about this kind of session, my page on psychic medium readings explains how I approach it, including what happens if the person you hoped for doesn't come forward.

What not to ask a psychic

Some questions don't suit a reading at all, and a responsible reader will decline them or redirect you. That isn't evasion. It's about keeping you safe and being honest about limits.

Pregnancy, exam results and questions about third parties who haven't consented fall into a similar grey area. Be wary, too, of any reader who answers a hard question by warning of a curse or bad energy that only a paid extra can lift. That is a classic pressure tactic, and Citizens Advice can help you check and report it. A reading is not a substitute for medical, psychological, legal or financial advice, and I'll always gently point you towards the right professional when a question belongs with them.

How to phrase your questions, and use the answers

A small change of wording can turn a closed question into a useful one. Here are some quick swaps:

• "Will it work out?" becomes "What would help this work out?"
• "Should I leave?" becomes "What do I need to understand before I decide whether to stay?"
• "Is he the one?" becomes "What does this relationship show me about what I want?"
• "When will things get better?" becomes "What can I do now to start feeling better?"

During the reading, keep notes or ask if you can record. Afterwards, give yourself a day or two before acting on anything big. Then go back through your notes and ask:

1. Which parts felt true straight away?
2. Which parts surprised me, and why?
3. What is one small, practical step I could take this week?
4. What do I want to keep an eye on over the next few months?

Anything that doesn't resonate can simply be set aside. You remain the decision-maker in your own life. If you haven't chosen a reader yet, my guide to choosing a psychic in London covers what to look for before you book. If you'd like to put your list to use, the prices and available times are on my booking page. Sessions run as online readings on Zoom from anywhere or as in-person psychic readings in London, and there's a page on readings for central London if you're based nearby.